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I wish, gentle reader, that I had something important and relevant to say this morning, but I can't think of one thing about St. Louis to write about. So, I'm going to give my mind some release with this particular entry.
I've been in a funk this past week, a funk that has left me in my own black & white world...my gift of observation temporarily resting in an opaque box. I miss seeing the world in color.
I often find myself struggling to not only exist in this world, but to live here too. I want to live with and learn from all the smiling faces I see around me. I want to share their experiences and claim them for my own, but someone stops me. Disappointment...he's an evil beast who seems to attach himself to so many that I meet. Hurt Feelings and Fear are two other nasty characters that refuse to let me go. I've tried to break up with all three, but it's so much harder to rid myself of them than I thought. Above me, I feel that much needed change is reaching for me, ready to pull me up to the green pastures of brighter days...all I need to do is take his hand.
Without the help of miracles or potions, I've evolved from a shy, tortured creature into a really fantastic soul...but I'm a man who believes letting someone in means getting hurt. Despite the person I am today, I'll still be the person I was.
I'm proud of all I've done for myself, but I am tired of making my own fortune. In moments of selfishness, or perhaps weakness, I find myself asking whoever's listening to send me a kindred soul. Someone to treat me gently, to care for me, to nurture my past, present & future. My benevolent companion doesn't have to bear my burden forever, just for a moment...and then I'll return the favor.
I've been in a funk this past week, a funk that has left me in my own black & white world...my gift of observation temporarily resting in an opaque box. I miss seeing the world in color.
I often find myself struggling to not only exist in this world, but to live here too. I want to live with and learn from all the smiling faces I see around me. I want to share their experiences and claim them for my own, but someone stops me. Disappointment...he's an evil beast who seems to attach himself to so many that I meet. Hurt Feelings and Fear are two other nasty characters that refuse to let me go. I've tried to break up with all three, but it's so much harder to rid myself of them than I thought. Above me, I feel that much needed change is reaching for me, ready to pull me up to the green pastures of brighter days...all I need to do is take his hand.
Without the help of miracles or potions, I've evolved from a shy, tortured creature into a really fantastic soul...but I'm a man who believes letting someone in means getting hurt. Despite the person I am today, I'll still be the person I was.
I'm proud of all I've done for myself, but I am tired of making my own fortune. In moments of selfishness, or perhaps weakness, I find myself asking whoever's listening to send me a kindred soul. Someone to treat me gently, to care for me, to nurture my past, present & future. My benevolent companion doesn't have to bear my burden forever, just for a moment...and then I'll return the favor.