Is It Really For Me 6.28.2007 | 9 Comment(s)

I don't know if St. Louis is for me anymore. Anyone who knows me knows I love this town, but I think I need to get away.

This week I've been thinking that I've grown deep roots in this town, and I don't like that. I feel too settled. For some reason I don't really like that feeling.

I've also come to the realization that St. Louis is never going to be the type of city I want to live in anytime soon. I really don't like the mentality of people who live in this region, I don't like the small mindedness and mundane thinking that takes place on a daily basis and I don't like the fact that there are so many dumb asses in positions of power and not enough people who care to kick them out. I don't like the fact our police department and schools are controlled by the state. I'm sure it's like this everywhere, but not everyplace needs people of vision as much as STL does.

This small pond of a town has too many big fish, too many people who want to scratch each others backs and forget about the rest of us.

Example, my waning support for Mayor Slay has reached the tipping point. This post on his blog has solidified my negative view of him and I will no longer vote for him or link to his web site (big deal, right?). I used to think Slay was good for the City, but with each passing day it's becoming apparent that he's out only for his corporate and big money friends and not for the citizens of St. Louis. He seems to be only interested in accolades and helping those that don't need it. I hope he proves me wrong, but I have a feeling he won't.

Aside from the political, after visiting NYC earlier this year, I realized that what I want isn't in STL. Yes, there is beautiful architecture here and so many other wonderful things, but...I don't know...I'm just not feeling STL as much as I used to. Perhaps the newness of living in the City has faded and worn off. I've been here for 3 years now and I guess I'm bored with it all now.

I think what's the most frustrating for me is looking around me and seeing nothing but potential. Potential doesn't make a great city, creating something from that potential does...and I just think St. Louis lacks people in power with the vision to take potential and transform it into reality.

By  M, at 9:27 PM

It always amuses me when people here complain about exactly what you have above, and for good reason because a lot of it is true, but feel that leaving and ignoring the problem are the solution. Yet, what they are complaining about (lack of involvement, small mindedness, mundane thinking) could be reversed if they just stayed and invested in the city, made better decisions, help the city become more progressive.

Instead of getting more involved and changing those aspects of the city, leaving is the only option, which doesn't make sense. Maybe THAT is really the St. Louis attitude that is holding us back from reaching our potential, and these people complaining and leaving are only helping us out by doing so.

By  Brick City, at 9:55 AM

It always amuses me that people don't understand why people who want to make a difference can get frustrated in this town and want to leave....also, sometimes I just like to complain and vent...which is sort of what this post is about.

While I have no real intention of moving, and having invested in the city by buying a home here, shopping locally, getting involved with the neighborhood, etc. etc., I will say that I have a lack of patience. STL's problems aren't going to change overnight or even in a few years and I want to live the life I want today.

If that means ignoring problems here, than I'm OK with that. Something I've realized is you can't feel guilty for wanting the life you want...or venting frustration

By  Dan, at 6:24 PM

Brick,

Your problem is not unique. I gather that you are not a native St. Louisan, so therefore you can not answer the traditional St. Louis question - "where did you go to high school?" Not being able to answer that question with the correct St Louis answer, your place in the caste system becomes that of tourist.

As a tourist, your views and opinions are subservient to those who have a higher place in the system. No matter your good intentions, you don't have the clout to make things happen.

St. Louis isn't such a bad place, I chose it over a larger midwestern city over thirty years ago. While I won't leave, I know I won't make a difference.

So hang in there and keep up the good work

By  Anonymous, at 9:08 PM

Maybe you are just in the wrong neighborhood? Each area has its own benefits and problems. If you like New York City, you might be happier in the CWE, Tower Grove South, Soulard, etc.

This city has areas that should appeal to lots of different types of people. My area, Tower Grove South, certainly attracts those with a progressive type of personality. All of the people moving in have made a huge difference, especially around the Morganford area.

Most of the people in TGS wouldn't be happy in St. Louis Hills, and vice versa. Sometimes I get frustrated that the people in TGS are TOO liberal, open-minded, and involved. If you want a walkable area where people are really, REALLY involved, move to The Hill.

I also think that any big city is going to frustrate you with their bad leaders, back-door deals, and overall poor government. You just hear more bad things about St. Louis because you live here.

By  Brick City, at 9:37 PM

"Maybe you are just in the wrong neighborhood?"

This is a good point and actually something I've been thinking about. I love my neighborhood and I think it's the perfect place for someone like me, a product of the burbs, to test the waters of City life. It's quiet and people keep to themselves for the most part, at least on my block. I'm not complaining that my block is quiet, but it would be nice to live on a more lively block.

However, I think I've outgrown my current neighborhood. I wish I could pick my house up and plop it into another neighborhood...since I love my home.

I think TGS would be really great for me, I just can't afford it right now, and I don't want to rent. So I just have to save up

By  kfourcat, at 12:05 AM

Brick,
Hang in there, I often feel the same frustrations. It takes people like us to make a difference. Another neighborhood to try is Fox Park. I've lived here 4 months and already know most of my neighbors,have attended 2-3 neighborhood functions and have written articles for the newletter. There is a very strong neighborhood association that takes pride in the revitalization going on. Also, the prices are still reasonable and you cant beat the location.

By  Anonymous, at 8:52 AM

Yeah, it's enough to make you wanna jump ship. However, you are indeed either part of the problem or the solution. I've found talking about change is one thing; and, actually inciting change is another. You feel more empowered when you are actually doing something that the politicians and natives are too conservative to do (rehab, community garden, small business venture, etc). Put your money and time where your mouth is, and it will pay off noticeable dividends....far greater than blog posts IMHO.

And on mayors, I agree with you on Slay. I think he's clearly been better than Bosley and Harmon, but that's not enough. I will not vote for him either. NYC? Do you think you'll like Guiliani or Bloomberg better than Slay?
STLMARK

By  MattHurst, at 3:27 PM

i would hate to be an also ran, but needless to say, i feel your pain. as another casualty of the 'burbs, i know all the reasons you love this city as i do. in fact, i even wrote something a little like this before moving all the way in
http://skewgee.livejournal.com/18392.html

thanks for making me dig that up. i don't think ii'm going anywhere anytime soon

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